03 August 2006
Well, it's not like Food Lion has high class clientel either
I know my children aren't the most well behaved. In fact, they're down right hellions - witness the absolute screaming hysterics when I dropped the younger one off for his very first day at the CDC this morning. (I watched the room on the closed circuit for a while and I'm pretty sure he was planning a break-out. Probably to find Daddy, secure in his knowledge that Daddy will either fix this or buy him a Hot Wheel car. Either one's good enough.) But I expect a certain modicum of behaviour from them. We've got these things called rules. I know, novel idea.

I don't like taking them to the grocery store because they whine and whine and whine until I just want to take the Sponge Bob Cheese Nips from their hands and bop them over the head with 'em. But I don't. 'Cause this is the personal hell I chose for myself. Just kidding! At any rate, that's a personal annoyance. Makes me want to pull my hair out one strand at a time but it doesn't bother the other shoppers. They start throwing fits and every single bit of food they like will be stripped out of the cart, leaving nothing but meat, veggies and my coca-cola. I like to think I'm a fairly middle of the road parent, somewhere between my mother's "What's a curfew?" and my step-mom's "Sure you're 18 but you'll still be home before dark. And I better know where you are until then." But there's still consequences, ya know?

So how? How in God's name do you allow your child to ROLL AROUND ON THE GROUND in the commissary? Seriously? And I don't mean one roll before ya snap "Get your butt up!" I mean I had time to walk past you, observe the little bratimus-maximus , go to the other side of the fucking store, write a goddam text message and get my dog food. And yet when I walked past you again, little precious is still flailing there. Not throwing a fit to get his way, in a Gee-this-is-so-much-fun way. People are veering out of his way, casting dubious looks at mom of the year. All the while you're blissfully picking out meat without saying one fucking word to him! Does it really take so long to pick up seven packs of ground beef and five packs of hotdogs anyways? What, you're gonna play you know how to cook something other than Hamburger Helper? Or are you just hoping that if you ignore the heathen long enough he'll pick another family to go home with?

Here's my Public Service Announcement for the month. Get your child up off the floor! It's fucking dirty down there!


11 Comments:

Blogger Manic Witch said...

I know we were always told as parents to not give in to tantrums, but I also tried not to subject others to my 9 circles of hell. Thank goodness my kids were reasonably well behaved, but if they threw a hissy, we left the store immediately. I went back later to finish the shopping. Kids don't perfom well without an audience.

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Blogger Rhianna said...

Okay, I'm clueless here but:

1 "Food Lion"? What is that? A grocery store chain or a resturant or you were just being facisious and I missed it? ;)

2. WTH kind of parent puts up with a tantrum? Seriously, the old "ignore it and it'll go away" has NEVER worked, let alone for a tantrum throwing child.

Blogger LorelieLong said...

See, that's the thing. The kid wasn't throwing a tantrum. If he was throwing a temper tantrum, at least I could assume she was trying that no-negative-feed back thing. He was playing. Splayed out on his back, it was like he was making snow angels in the middle of the commissary. Having a blast.

And yep, Food Lion is a grocery chain in the South.

Blogger TJ said...

I thought he was throwing a tantrum too! She was letting him PLAY! That's just gross. And wrong. And dirty. And I could go on. Ugh.

~ TJ

Blogger julie anna said...

I have to agree with your public service announcement for the month. Some parents just don't get it.

Blogger Lemon Stand said...

OMG! I'm sitting here KNOWING that I am NOT the worst parent on the planet! Euuuuwwww! I do not live in the south at the moment but have in the past and yes I remember Food Lion Stores.

My children are NOT poster children for best behavior at all times but they know I won't hesitate to haul their butts out of a store. Then they can explain to Daddy what they thought they were doing. (Have I mentioned all four daughters are Daddy's girls? Oh yeah, we don't want Daddy mad at us...

As for THIS child. You know the decontamination drill they do for hazardous chemicals where you strip down and get scrubbed within an inch of your life? (You don't really need those top layers of skin)

Thank you for the post. I needed to feel better about my Mommy skills...

Blogger RockDog said...

This is a damn funny blog!

I give my wife a lot of credit for the way she handles our kids in public. My way doesn't seem to work...apparently making a bigger scene than the kids are making results in onlookers thinking I am crazy...go figure.

Anonymous vw bug said...

I understand. Though I did leave my youngest laying on the floor screaming. He wanted to be held. Did not want to walk and did not want to get in the cart. I walked down the aisle, got what I wanted, while watching him. He thought I was going to leave, stopped screaming and came running after me. Not exactly nice, but I do carry Purell in my purse for a reason.

Anonymous "A" said...

Why I am not surprised that there are kids rolling around on the floor in the commissary in Italy? Somehow it just seems to fit. Maybe it’s just the military mommies in general that allow their kids to roll around on the floor and through fits.

The other day I was in the commissary and this woman who had liked 5 bazillion kids was shopping. Her (maybe 5 yr old) was clearing shelves while walking by and then her youngest (I think) was rolling down the center of the baking goods like a steam roller. All this time she was walking along like this crap was normal and we (the other shoppers) should walk around her kids and ignore them. My Three yr old looked at me and asked "Mommy why doesn’t their mommy beat them? They are being naughty” Now I don’t beat my kids (I would like to sometimes but…) but I have no problem spanking them...

I just don’t get parents that do not try and control their children with some sort of discipline.

Blogger Chris said...

OMG, I just love your description of your parenting style (between the two ranges). Funny stuff.


Chris
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